We’ve all heard that using lots of dialogue tags is frowned upon, especially adverbial dialogue tags:
“Oh, are you leaving so soon?” she asked sadly.
“Billy, hurry up!” she screamed/exclaimed/shouted/yelled excitedly.
I was reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (again) last night, and within a page Ms. Rowling used 'said Fred seriously,' 'said Ron darkly,' 'said Harry flatly,' and 'said Ron hastily.' Clearly, exceptions are everywhere, but more and more we are being told to stick with a simple he said/she said. Many times, even these aren’t necessary.
Use action tags to turn this awkward and crowded sentence on its toes.
“This homework stinks like Uncle Carl,” Gary sighed heavily. “I hate math,” he added emphatically.
BECOMES
Gary slammed his book shut. “Math stinks worse than Uncle Carl.”
Perhaps you’re writing a scene in the kitchen and there is a garbage can full of foul odors.
“Smells like a rose,” Gary said sarcastically.
BECOMES
Gary pinched his nostrils shut. “Smells like a rose.”
Same thing, only with action to show the sarcasm. Your readers are smart enough to get it.
A great post by Ann Marble (click HERE) on the use and abuse of dialogue tags has other fun examples. I was SO guilty of making these mistakes in my manuscripts, and still have to look out for them. I swear they just sneak in, it’s not really my fault… here are a couple things to keep an eye out for (straight from A. Marble’s post):
Don't use a verb used to describe an expression and then try to force it into becoming a dialogue tag. It won't work. People don't grimace, grin, smile, and frown their sentences. Consider this line of dialogue: "You'll never get away from here," her evil guardian sneered. Even the most notorious villain doesn't know how to sneer a line of dialogue.
"But my villain has to sneer," the writer said. Of course. It's in his nature. So try this instead: The evil guardian sneered. "You'll never get away from here." Don't worry about the attribution. As long as the action is kept with its dialogue, the reader will figure out who said what.
The big kahuna of dialogue tags to avoid is "hissed." It's used a lot, but quite often, it's used where it's unwelcome. We've all seen this dialogue tag abused. For example: "Get out," she hissed. OK, you try it -- hiss that line. Something's missing -- the sibilants. I suppose the Snake Creatures of Tilolaca could hiss that line, but that's about it. Your characters shouldn't have to be forced to hiss their words.
There are a few links at the top right that discuss this topic and provide more examples to look out for. I suggest taking a look at your pages to see if you can change a few of your dialogue tags to action tags. Or maybe you’d rather go to a movie or something instead—that’s cool too. Mom and Dad are coming this weekend, so I'll be cleaning up the house and giving the lawn one last mow this season.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Ah, excellent advice! I really liked the "hiss" example. "Get out!" not even a single "s" in it!
ReplyDeleteMy pet peeve is when characters laugh, smile, and sigh words. :)
ReplyDeleteYou always have great ideas and, even better, good examples. Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteGreat examples! I think every writer finds these in their first drafts. It's natural. But I guess that's what revisions are for!
ReplyDeleteBanned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)
ReplyDeleteObat Gairah Pria
Pengobatan Asma
Obat Insomnia Akut Terapi Susah Tidur
Kualitas Produk Greend World
Obat Pilek Menahun Pada Anak
Cara Menjaga Ginjal Agar Tetap Sehat
Obat Sembelit Dan Memperlancar BAB
Obat Penambah Sistem Kekebalan Tubuh
Suplemen Alami Penghilang Rasa Lelah
Obat Pembersih Ginjal Kotor Alami
Obat Meningkatkan Kekebalan Tubuh Pada Penderita HIV Atau Aids
ninest123 16.03
ReplyDeletemichael kors outlet, tiffany jewelry, louis vuitton, michael kors, gucci outlet, louboutin outlet, oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet online, nike air max, ray ban sunglasses, ugg boots, nike outlet, longchamp outlet, louboutin, prada handbags, michael kors outlet, jordan shoes, prada outlet, louis vuitton, nike air max, chanel handbags, ugg boots, tiffany and co, oakley sunglasses, replica watches, michael kors outlet, longchamp outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, christian louboutin outlet, uggs on sale, nike free, louis vuitton outlet, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, ray ban sunglasses, cheap oakley sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet, louis vuitton, ray ban sunglasses, longchamp, louis vuitton outlet, oakley sunglasses, burberry, replica watches, oakley sunglasses, louboutin shoes, tory burch outlet
burberry, coach purses, michael kors, kate spade handbags, air max, hogan, ray ban pas cher, kate spade outlet, new balance pas cher, converse pas cher, oakley pas cher, vanessa bruno, lacoste pas cher, true religion jeans, nike air max, mulberry, air jordan pas cher, nike blazer, coach outlet, ralph lauren uk, coach outlet, michael kors, nike free, nike free run uk, louboutin pas cher, true religion jeans, nike air max, true religion outlet, hollister, replica handbags, sac guess, michael kors, abercrombie and fitch, lululemon, vans pas cher, longchamp pas cher, hermes, north face, tn pas cher, hollister pas cher, air force, nike air max, michael kors, timberland, north face, ray ban uk, ralph lauren pas cher, sac longchamp, nike roshe run, true religion jeans, nike roshe
ReplyDeletemcm handbags, iphone 6 cases, north face outlet, iphone 6s plus cases, p90x workout, birkin bag, beats by dre, insanity workout, iphone 6 plus cases, wedding dresses, iphone 5s cases, chi flat iron, herve leger, soccer shoes, s5 cases, abercrombie and fitch, hollister, oakley, new balance, bottega veneta, nike trainers, instyler, reebok shoes, soccer jerseys, vans shoes, iphone 6s cases, longchamp, celine handbags, hollister, ferragamo shoes, asics running shoes, hollister, ralph lauren, giuseppe zanotti, babyliss, jimmy choo shoes, ghd, timberland boots, valentino shoes, lululemon, nfl jerseys, nike air max, nike air max, north face outlet, mont blanc, nike roshe, ipad cases, nike huarache, mac cosmetics, louboutin, iphone cases, baseball bats
ReplyDeletecanada goose uk, marc jacobs, sac louis vuitton pas cher, converse outlet, pandora charms, wedding dresses, barbour, louis vuitton, moncler, canada goose, lancel, vans, louis vuitton, canada goose outlet, montre pas cher, thomas sabo, karen millen, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, moncler, juicy couture outlet, moncler, canada goose, barbour jackets, pandora charms, ugg pas cher, ugg boots uk, moncler, moncler, swarovski, pandora jewelry, swarovski crystal, pandora jewelry, louis vuitton, moncler, moncler outlet, hollister, converse, canada goose, links of london, ray ban, bottes ugg, canada goose, gucci, coach outlet, doudoune canada goose, moncler, supra shoes, louis vuitton, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, replica watches, toms shoes, juicy couture outlet, canada goose outlet
ReplyDeleteninest123 16.03
It is great to have visited your website. Thanks for sharing useful information. And also visit my website about health. God willing it will be useful too
ReplyDeleteObat Sakit Kepala Berputar (Vertigo)
Obat Sakit Tumit yang Ampuh